Let me clarify: The fathers were right in their positions regarding those outside the Church. I don't want to seem like I am attempting to negate what they said regarding this. I should have specified that what I said above is the way I try to see it. I think we all struggle with the topic when it comes to our relatives or friends who aren't Orthodox, but are all around good people. What is their part in everything? What is their lot? Can things really be that simple, that cut-and-dry?
I see the people floating around hanging on the flotsam and jetsam during the (modern crazy, confusing contemporary) flood and I think "Wow. I really need to be in this Ark." I hope and pray that all are saved, though I know some won't. I hope that in my hubris, I am not deathly ill on the Ark. I hope as well that I, in my priesthood, keep my (church) family safely aboard with me until the land should dry up. That's where I leave it. The fathers were true Theologians, and I am not. I trust their words and apply them to my life, and the lives of the people God has entrusted to me. Anything beyond that -like say, judging the salvation of others- I have not been called to do.
We have all been entrusted with the care of our fellow man, and to instruct them when they are ill -which is not judgement- to seek therapy and healing out of love for them. Only the Church can truly provide this. It's the difference of walking into a grocery/drug store and trying to heal your cancer vs. going to the hospital and seeing a doctor (all complaints about modern medicine aside). Sure, you can buy some salves and band-aids, but ultimately you are just delaying your healing, and hastening your demise.