A Question that caused a Crisis.

[Lenexa]

Hello All,
I don't know if this is the best place to ask this or if any of you will find this terribly simple and a waste of time but I have prayed much about it and appreciate every bit of help I get.

Over four years ago I converted to Orthodoxy and posted here occasionally under the name Sabbas for any of those who may remember me. I was and still am a member of World Orthodoxy though I have always kept an eye on and a keen interest in the TOCs wondering whether to join someday.

About two years ago I had a crisis of faith and fell away from Orthodoxy. I was attending college full-time and working full-time at night in a factory. I was often tired and felt the strain of fasting. At that point I pretty much had given up meats, other than fist, and cheese except on special occasions. There was a news story about a little girl who had been kidnapped, molested, tortured and murdered by a sex offender who had only been out of prison for ten days and failed to register. At the same time there was a story about a small Orthodox church that had weeping icons. The myrhh from the icons cured one woman of cancer. This troubled me terribly, more than usual if that makes sense. Then I was at work one night and the thought popped into my head, "If God can make an icon bleed and save a woman from cancer why couldn't He save that little girl?" I felt sick and continued working. When I got home at midnight I decided to pray and go to sleep and see if this feeling would go away. Two days later I had class canceled and stayed home and the feeling and thought returned in full force and I said, "Maybe God doesn't really care?" and I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown and burst into tears. I stopped going to Church and I pretty much stopped caring after a few months. But I never really stopped considering myself Orthodox and I often felt pain from missing my Lord, His Mother, His Angels, His Saints and His Church. I have slowly been bringing myself back to Orthodoxy after much inner struggling.
I have partially answered the question that lead me to so much pain but I still shaken by it.
How would you answer it. Help me in regaining my faith Please!
Asking for your Prayers
Eucherius

[Jean-Serge]

Your question is not stupid and is really legitimate... "If God is so powerfuln, why don't he do nothing or only act in some cases". I would give this answer. When Adam was in paradise, everything was under his own control, even the nature. But when he sinned, he fell under the power of the evil and so did the nature because if the master is captured, his servants are also captured... This explains why there is so evil things in the world : evil made by the people, but also sickness, earthquake and so on...

However, God made plans to improve this situation. It will be definitely corrected with the second coming of Christ. But before this event we are all waiting for, the only shelter against the evil's work is the church because in the Church, being the body of Christ is already in the future life and in the same time in this life... If you read the Apocalypse, you will see that the second coming will be preceded by terrible events (some signs) even worse that the one we see nowadays (more immorality, murder, war and do on).

I tried to explain you with my own words...

[ANGELA]

Dear Eucherius,

In my unworthiness, I will try to answer you simply. God knows why He does things. It is hard for us to understand as humans. Maybe, God let this happen to convert the family, as this little soul is in Heaven praying to God for her family.

Remember, that God test us. God took the little girl now so she can be in Paradise. Who knows what her life would of been like when she got older. Trust in God's providence. He knows everything. Even when a hair falls off, He knows about it.

Eucherius, try to go to confession and partake Holy Communion often. Study the Scriptures and read stories of Saints and our Fathers. Get close to God who embraces you in His arms.

A man was asleep, and in his dream he dreamt he saw himself walking on a sandy beach. He saw the events of his life projected on a ginat screen in the sky.

Everytime he took a step, a scene of his life flashed on to the screen. His footprints left a trail in the sand. A second pair of footprints were trailing his. They were Jesus Christ, who is always there behind us.

He also saw bitter moments of his life: his redundancy, the serious illness that he nearly died, the death of his wife. The death of both his children. His heart was breaking.

He was astonished to see that on the sad events there were only one set of footprints in the sand. He reached the conclusion that on those occasions the Lord abondaned Him!

He raised his voice to Him, and complained.

"Lord, why was it that in the difficult times, when I neeeded your help, You abondaned me and left me all alone?"

"Your making a mistake my child", replied Jesus. "The footprints you saw were mine and not yours."

"And mine?"

"At those times I was carrying you, like a child in it's mother's arms".

Eucherius, hope this has helped you. Find a good spiritual father and I pray everything will go well for you.

+Angela

[Evfimy]

About two years ago I had a crisis of faith and fell away from Orthodoxy. I was attending college full-time and working full-time at night in a factory.

75% of evangelical "Christians" fall away from their faith during their first year of college. I don't know what the statistic is for Orthodox people, if there even is a statistic (I hope there isn't), but I found your comment interesting.

Regarding the abduction and murder of children, God does what is perfectly right for each person. You only see things from a three dimensional vantage point of perception. God sees the big picture from the vantage point of all wisdom and knowledge. He knows exactly what He is doing with each person.

[Evfimy]

ANGELA,

I appreciate your willingess to help him, but you don't know if that girl went to Paradise. There is nothing in his story even implying she was Orthodox.

The woman healed of cancer could have been praying for years. We don't know all the details to these events. We only see things from the point of insufficient knowledge and wisdom.

[ANGELA]

Evfimy,

What are you saying? Because she's not Orthodox, she won't go to Heaven?

[Evfimy]

Evfimy,

What are you saying? Because she's not Orthodox, she won't go to Heaven?

If children already have a place in heaven, then there is no need to baptize them.