My Pascha

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OrthodoxyOrDeath

My Pascha

Post by OrthodoxyOrDeath »

Every Pascha I learn something new about my life and the Church. This year was no different.

Working a treacherous schedule all through lent, often 7am to 10 or 11 pm, and dealing with a host of other problems, I found it very hard to stay focused on my spiritual struggle. "Normal life" these past few months would have been difficult enough without the additional services, fasting, and call to break "new spiritual ground" so-to-speak. Part of the struggle was balancing work with the schedule of services - balancing which services were “insignificant” (!) enough to miss. There were many times I was tempted to break fast, usually in some small and “insignificant” way (as the demons would have us believe).

But as Holy Week approached, my grueling workload started to dwindle and my schedule lightened to almost nothing (!) literally just a day or two before Holy Week, which was just wonderful.

Then it seemed like everything from the past few months of my life culminated with Pascha, the all-night vigil when everything is renewed. I walked out the back door of the Church with my family this morning and realized that all of this, these past few months that is, was my life in microcosm: A great life-long struggle, one that I don’t know when (and often feel it will never) end - where instead of Christ being resurrected it will be me to answer for everything I have done and said. What an awesome end to face the dread judgment!

The Church has taught me a great lesson once again and has deepened (at least I hope) my tolerance to continue with the struggle with new insight on what it all means. It will end – and no matter how difficult, I will need to have fasted and prayed in my whole life in general to face with hope my own resurrection.

In all of this I have talked just about myself. but I also learned why the Church teaches my wife is to me like the Church is to Christ. If not for my wife, who is just a warrior raising our children, everything would have unraveled into complete chaos. :)

Blessed is he who patiently endures these things…! Afterward, as the Fathers say, he will attain to a magnificent and enduring dwelling. This struggle, however, does not cease immediately, nor in an hour; nor does grace come once and for all and dwell in the soul, but little by little of one and the other: sometimes trial, sometimes consolation. A man continues in these things until his departure. In this life we should not expect to receive perfect freedom from this struggle, nor to receive perfect consolation. For thus is God pleased to govern our life here: that those who journey in the way should be in the midst of these things. To him be glory unto the ages of ages. Amen. (St Isaac the Syrian, Homilies 50, in The Ascetical Homilies of Saint Isaac the Syrian, pp 241–42)

Christos Anesti!

Joseph D
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Posts: 103
Joined: Thu 19 February 2004 9:49 am

Post by Joseph D »

Alithos anesti!

Congrats on your new position as moderator.

--Joseph

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