Orthodox dating Heterodox Why?

[Jean-Serge]

Actually, TO churches don't have matchmakers in my (perhaps limited) experience; that was my point. Dating life would be a little easier if we had them! Other traditionalist communities with larger numbers, like Orthodox Jews or Mormons, go to great efforts to make sure their followers marry within the faith, and part of that involves matchmaking.

Very interesting discussion that is not a miscellaneous issue; it is linked to the question of mixed marriages discussed in Theology and tradition forum, I guess. Well, regarding matchmaking, I do not know if you mean professional matchmakers or some people really dedicated to this. I guess this does not exist, even among Jews. But there is an informal matchmaking in which if someone knows you want to get married, he will tell to other people who might know etc. Such process also exists among true orthodox but if you tell nobody you are willng to get married, nobody will help you.

[Jean-Serge]

Why do some single Orthodox date those who are Heterodox? Being an inquirer into Orthodoxy coming from conservative Protestantism, I don't understand this. Scripture states in 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?" When I was Protestant I would have NEVER even considered dating someone who didn't share the same faith as I did; that is THE most important thing to have in common when dating (in a relationship which may eventually lead to marriage), in my mind. Less "fundamentalist" Protestants, however, wouldn't share this view and would have no problem dating someone of a different faith tradition. They might even consider such dating as "missionary dating" in the hopes that their boyfriend/girlfriend would be influenced by their faith and want to "convert" or switch denominations.

One of the single adults at the church I attend (who is Orthodox) is dating a person who is Protestant and on occasion has brought them to liturgy (and I'm glad that this visitor is being exposed to the Orthodox faith); this situation is what raised this question for me.

Because they choose not to follow the religious principles. Most things in life are choices that we make. Why do they act like this ? Many people even among practicing orthodox only have a psycho-affective vision of love without the religious dimension. They forget that such dimension is indeed the principal one, since marriage aims to help towards deification, the reason why the spouse must be orthodox to do so. But the psycho-affective vision tells that as long as you are in love, simply just get married whereas that the orthodox vision tells that even if you can fall in love of anyone, you cannot marry anyone. Another reason is laxism by the church; in theory,somene marrying a non-orthodox should be deprived from communion; but since it is no longer applied (or seldom), it no longer acts as a deterent.

However, I would not follow Barbara saying that if you do not find an orthodox spouse you need to become a monk. Monachism would not be helped by an influx of frustrated people who could not marry.

[Maria]

Actually, TO churches don't have matchmakers in my (perhaps limited) experience; that was my point. Dating life would be a little easier if we had them! Other traditionalist communities with larger numbers, like Orthodox Jews or Mormons, go to great efforts to make sure their followers marry within the faith, and part of that involves matchmaking.

Very interesting discussion that is not a miscellaneous issue; it is linked to the question of mixed marriages discussed in Theology and tradition forum, I guess. Well, regarding matchmaking, I do not know if you mean professional matchmakers or some people really dedicated to this. I guess this does not exist, even among Jews. But there is an informal matchmaking in which if someone knows you want to get married, he will tell to other people who might know etc. Such process also exists among true orthodox but if you tell nobody you are willng to get married, nobody will help you.

This topic cannot be placed in Praxis as it is not a normal practice of True Orthodox to be dating the Heterodox.
This is why the Admins at E Cafe started this Miscellaneous Issues forum. It is sort of a catch basin for all other threads that do not belong elsewhere at E Cafe.

All Orthodox singles whom I have met who are sincere about getting married have asked me or others to be on the lookout for suitable marriage candidates who are either interested in Holy Orthodoxy or who are already in communion with Orthodox Christianity. Since there are few Orthodox Christians in America or in Western Countries like Germany, France, or the UK, many Orthodox Christians bring their intended to a Saturday Vespers or Sunday Divine Liturgy before they POP the question. If they are open to Orthodox, they introduce them to the parish priest. If their sweetheart is not interested, either they break the relationship or firmly mention that the Faith is very important and proceed cautiously with lots of prayers. Mixed marriages are very difficult.

[Maria]

Several posts have been split into a new topic:

http://www.euphrosynoscafe.com/forum/vi ... =4&t=11383