Bit of Orthodox humor........

Ekaterina · Post by **Ekaterina** » Thu 17 August 2006 9:23 am

TOP TEN: Southern Orthodox
YOU KNOW YOU'RE SOUTHERN ORTHODOX WHEN:

10) At Pentecost, your church is decorated with Kudzu.

9) You spell "feast" with only three letters: B B Q.

You say "Father," "Barsonuphios," and "Monastery" without any pronouncing an "r."

7) You drive 3 hours to an Orthodox Church. But, could hop ... on one foot ... with your eyes closed ... (and a rock in your shoe) ... to the nearest Baptist Church.

6) All your services are all in English -- at least that's what YOU call it.

5) There's women in your church known as: Photini Beth, Thecla Beth, and Elizabeth Beth.

4) There's men going by: Athanasius Lee, Euphrosynos Lee, and Vasiliy Lee.

3) You got white folks, black folks -- even Democrats -- in your parish, but no Russians, Serbians, Arabs or Greeks.

2) You know someone who knows someone who knows someone with a velvet picture of Elvis celebrating the Last Supper.

AND ... the number one sign that you are an Orthodox Southerner:

1) You think grits are too good to be considered fasting!

Liudmilla · Post by **Liudmilla** » Thu 17 August 2006 9:35 am

How about this one?

At Pascha, the Priest says "Christ is Risen" and the community responds "He sure is!" (or "Sho enough he is!" depending on where in the South you're from).

:mrgreen:
Milla

Priest Siluan · Post by **Priest Siluan** » Thu 17 August 2006 10:31 am

Is this Northern Philetism? :mrgreen:

Ekaterina · Post by **Ekaterina** » Thu 17 August 2006 10:53 am

No I won't call it northern....it's closer to redneck......
Katya

The Apostate · Post by **The Apostate** » Thu 17 August 2006 4:03 pm

Q. How many Orthodox does it take to change a light-bulb?
A. What is this change?

You might be Orthodox if:

someone asks you to repeat yourself and you do so forty times.
when you see a shopping mall santa, you instinctively hold out your hands to receive a blessing.
you buy Easter eggs and Christmas presents in the sales.
* you practise metanias in your kitchen before you set off for church to make sure your skirt is decent.
when the clocks go back one hour, there are people at your church who still arrive late.
you tell someone your religion and they think you're Jewish.
you hear the expression "topless woman" and the image that comes to mind is of a lady without a headscarf.
there's someone at your church called Barsanuphius and you think nothing of it.
at the end of Holy Week, you have carpet burns on your forehead.
you can subtract 13 days from any given date with no difficulty whatsoever.