Top Ten Signs You Might Be a Fundaminimalist

[尼古拉前执事]

Top Ten Signs You Might Be a Fundaminimalist:

10) During the three day Ss Peter & Paul Fast (New Calendar), you did without meat (only).

9) Sunday's Divine Liturgy lasts longer than the Nightly News but is shorter than "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?".

8) When it comes to Confession, you believe: "All may, some should, none must."

7) You think Antidoron is for the birds (literally), not to mention the non-Orthodox.

6) You've seen your priest vested with cuffs around bare wrists because he's wearing a short sleeved shirt underneath his rasson.

5) You ask questions like, "What's a cassock?" And, "Why is she wearing one?"

4) Your bishop eats meat. On Friday. During fasting periods.

3) You've seen your priest swimming. In a crowded pool. In Speedos.

2) Your priest wears a Rolex. At the Altar. Over the cuffs.

And, the number one indication that you might be a fundaminimalist:

1) Your priest's wife goes by the title, "Reader ______ ."

Originally posted, years ago, on the Orthodox List.

[SouthernOrthodox]

Amen. I believe our good friends in the OCA have two or three of these. Just kidding. Good humor to start the day.

[尼古拉前执事]

I do not know who wrote it, but I know an Antiochian priest, Fr Joseph Huneycutt, recently put it on his blog.

You are lucky to have never seen this abuses, however.

10 is interesting as many Orthodox, unfortunately do not follow the fasts.

9 is sad since i know many people who hae experienced a 45 minute Liturgy.

8 is probably mostly a GOA thing. TomS has posted here that it is only offered once a year at his parish and no one goes.

7 is popularly done at Antiochian parishes and a famous hyphenated-last name Khouria even tells non-Orthodox to receive antidoron in her writings.

6 is somethign I have never seen, but it probably has been done since it made it on the list.

5 could be since some "W.O." priests only wear the dog collar suit.

4 is mostly a Serbian thing I believe.

3 is exaggerated, I am sure, but I have seen "W.O." clergy defend the practice.

2 is one I have seen (wearing a watch) but never over the cuffs!

1 Your priest's wife goes by the title, "Reader ______ ."

Sadly the GOA has tonsuread a number of woman readers over the last few years. You can see pictures here in the "World Orthodox" forum of one of these tonsurings!

[Jean-Serge]

4 is mostly a Serbian thing I believe.

People eating meat on fast days!!!

I have never seen this in my Serbian church in Paris. Base your opinion on true facts and not mythology!!!

[尼古拉前执事]

I was talking about bishops eating meat. This is well known in Serbia that some of the bishops do eat meat.

[Jean-Serge]

:mrgreen:

Yes of course because you are the cook of Serbian bishops... What do you suggest for Patriarch's Pavle tomorrow dinner? Chicken? Sausages

The fact is that in Serbia people eat fish during lent... The misunderstanding can originate from this. The practice of eating fish during lent is not incorrect... and wholly canonical. The habit of not eating fish is a Russian tradition, originally in the monasteries that spread in the people... After all, after the Resurrection Jesus do ate fish...

[尼古拉前执事]

No, besides hearing this from various sources, my godafather who is proudly Serbian, a proud member of the Serbian church, and loves his bishops! He says that it is true, he has witnessed a number of Serbian bishops that eat sausages, steaks, etc. in Serbia, which he has visited many times in his life. As far as I know the Patriarch has only been accused of eating meat once since he was made a bishop and that was because he was served it, which is no sweat off my brow, to coin a phrase. BTW not eating fish during Great Lent is also followed in the Greek tradition as well. Eating fish during Great Lent may be a uniquely Serbian tradition like the Slava perhaps?