I am an individual in the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia, and am under the Omophorions of its respective Bishops, of which the Chief Hierarch is Metropolitan Laurus.
I have no business, right to question or to say aught against my Bishops.
They are "Episcopos" and are direct descendants of the Holy Apostles and are the guardians of the Church.
If this appears to be hypocritical to anyone, then so be it,
I am a hypocrite.
I say many things and often say them with "force" and "conviction", such as, "I will never", "I will do this, or that".
Thanks to two individuals, of the past couple days and their comments and scriptural quotes, and my own daily readings of the Epistles and Gospels, my conscience has indicated that "something" is wrong.
A very dear person, now reposed, one who is Righteous and is now a Saint (to me), once said,
"Words are like little birds in ones hand. When a word is spoken, and when the little bird is allowed to go free, they are both gone forever."
Call me what you will.
I have been called worse, no matter what you say about me.
This past week was one in which the Publican and Pharisee should have been "in my mind, heart, and soul".
It wasn't.
I have emulated and excelled at being the Pharisee, and totally ignored the Publican's repentance.
Tomorrow is already the Sunday of the Prodigal Son, soon Great Lent will start (actually it did, last week), and have I even remotely started to repent? No.
Instead, I "worry" myself over things which I cannot even remotely 'control'. How silly.
Interestingly, yesterday, I sent a note similar to this one. It got "lost" amidst the "1s" and "0s" ("+"s and "-"s?) of this medium's world. I had no intention of writing this one, yet looking at the 'article' I was going to post, I started to "think" (evidently my one remaining brain cell still works) and said,
"No, all the article would do is add fuel to an already out of control fire."
The fires of Hell do not need any more fuel.
I realize that the “official” start of Great Lent, Judgment Sunday and the Forgiveness Vespers are a couple weeks off…but... Great Lent, at least to me (or used to be to me), is a ‘time’ which I should live – all the time – and don’t.
It is not ‘just 40 days’ then ‘back to the grind’.
It is, to me, supposed to be a life-long journey.
Will I falter? Of course! Maybe not putting this “log” on the fire is a start, who knows?
If I am allowed to, I would like to say the following:
“If I have said anything to offend any of the Hierarchy, Clergy, Monastics, laymen and laywomen,
I ask your forgiveness for all I have done to offend you.
Please forgive me, a sinner."
By Your prayers I remain,
John