Desperate Prayers

Грешник · Post by **Грешник** » Tue 22 February 2005 1:02 pm

I have just done some amazingly selfish stupid things over the past few weeks and this has affected many different areas of my life. I have hurt countless people around me and now when it is too late, realizing my selfishness and my unwillingness to follow God's commands in the first place has brought me to a point where I am questioning many different things and I know that some of this questioning is good and other aspects of it are of the evil one.

Trying ot seperate the two aspects however has been an amazingly difficult process. I have done worse than the Prodigal and have sinned against many people. I am glad, however, that we are approaching Great and Holy Lent because there is much I need ot aks in terms of forgiveness and I feel that this time an be used to my benefit. There is just a lot going on and the prayers of many are helpful to the salvation of a wandering soul. Many of you have been of great help to me in the past and so I come to you with the hope that your prayers can be of benefit to me and those whom I have injured by my pride and my stupidity.

My unworthy prayers are with you all as well.

尼古拉前执事 · Tue 22 February 2005 1:18 pm

Juvenaly,

In times like this we should not depend on just our own prideful self to decide what is good and what is bad. We should lean on the Church. This is how a Spiritual Father can guide his Spiritual Son in showing him what is from God and what is of the strong-willed Self, the World or of the evil one. But the Spiritual Son has to let the Spiritual Father know these questions, doubts and temptations. Know that if your actions had offended me in any way that you would be forgiven by me.

Грешник · Post by **Грешник** » Tue 22 February 2005 1:41 pm

Thank you Father Deacon. I hope to talk to Father this wekend. My first mistake was to be away from Church for so long, I see that now, although at the time I thought it was best to relieve the stress and the negative emotions in the situation. Whether this was right or not is not really the point, although I was only trying ot make things easier on all involved.

I desire nothing but the Church and the fact that my actions have affected many in Church is the main reason I have been away. But I shall return this weekend and pray that as the Prodigal I can be forgiven eventually. I am just sorry for all that I have done, even though it will not change anything there is still sorrow.

LadyStealth · Post by **LadyStealth** » Tue 22 February 2005 7:04 pm

Forgiveness is always a struggle. I pray that God forgives me for all I have done in my lifetime. (there is much I'm afraid) However sorrow is what makes us grow. It is what makes us lean on the Church in times like these. It is what cuts away the fat and fluff we surround ourselves with so that we can see to the very core of all our flaws and vices.
It is much like pruning a tree, where we cut away at bark and branches, and wrap the wounded part of the tree for a time. Given a good amount of time and patience, we reach a point where we can take off the wrappings and discover that it is like a new tree has taken the place of the old one.
Don't lose faith in all of this. Stick to your prayers and your thoughts of repentance and they will help you in the long run. God Bless.

joasia · Post by **joasia** » Wed 23 February 2005 12:02 am

Juvenaly,

Main focus...go to Holy Communion. Go every weekend until you have overcome your sin for whatever it is you did. The passion disapates with time(after many Holy Confessions and Holy Communions). And with the approach of Forgiveness Sunday, you can sincerely prostrate yourself in front of those that you feel you have offended...and mean it. This is your opportunity.

Грешник · Post by **Грешник** » Wed 23 February 2005 12:37 am

Some things can not be forgiven, except by God... I wish forgiveness was possible but there are times when you hurt someone you care about and lose them forever due to negligence and sin...

Kyrie Eleison...

joasia · Post by **joasia** » Wed 23 February 2005 1:10 am

Juvenaly,

Don't forget that with God, everything is possible. Don't lose hope in the One who is the Hope of the World. What you are going through is for a reason. God is there. He has a plan...you just don't see it yet.

Desperation is satan's mantra. Don't fall into that trap. Spiritual warefare is our heritage. Ride the waves and God will bring you to His shore.

What you need to do is take responsibility. Don't be afraid to admit you are wrong. And ask God to guide you through. Don't you see...you are put in a situation that makes you feel out of control and lower than a worm. God is revealing your deepest weaknesses in order for you to overcome them. It's painful, but it's effective. An athlete doesn't know what his physical weaknesses are until he has to endure a difficult physical test...but it's more painful when it's on the spiritual level.

And go to Holy Communion. God's Body and Blood will strengthen you (spiritually).

And pray to the Theotokos to send her comfort to you. She's very good about that. It will calm your mind and soul, in order to handle everything else.

My prayers are with you.

God bless