Wondering whether or not to leave the forum?

[gphadraig]

I am chewing over whether or not to withdraw from the Euphrosynos Cafe? My reasons for joining were simple. As someone who is Orthodox and who is increasingly finding it difficult to get around, the forum appears to be an excellent medium for meeting Orthodox people, and others, while remaining in my own home. Indeed I can log in when away from home too!

However, what is bugging me is the largely unnecessary rudeness, abruptness and one-sidedness of many 'conversations' here. Someone posts something, and then another simply chips in a cryptic and/or dismissive comment. Not only that they often want you to respond at length, and when you or anyone else does they are still not satisfied. Too much rudeness, attacks, one sided 'conversations' and sometimes no semblance of anything that might regarded as good manners let alone a Christian approach.

I hope to tried the walking down the road the extra mile, and turning the other cheek; however my own spiritual welfare comes in somewhere too. Presently it is just a question in my head and not a firm decision. Does anyone else have the same thoughts or there another way to look at the whole thing?

[sue57]

I don't post here very often, but if it is any consolation, I find that this goes on in other Orthodox web groups as well. It's very, very sad because we want to love each other as Christians, and you spend some time here, and leave, well p****ed off at someone. And obviously, it is a lot deeper than that. I have to say that I think "intolerance" is the most upsetting thing one sometimes encounters. Perhaps, because we doubt ourselves ( I KNOW what a sinner I am, there is no doubt in my mind whasoever!), when it is pointed out to us that we are not following the narrow path, so to speak, we're both angry with the person who tells us this, and we're angry at ourselves. I've seen endless discussions on the Net about coming to church late, fasting, headscarves, etc. I know on this group, it was stated that St. Paul instructed us to eat meat, and if it is not a fasting time, you should not abstain. (I don't eat it, don't like it, have no intention of starting. If anything, maybe there will be some minimal health benefit.)
These are certainly legitimate topics for discussion, but I do wish there was more "encouragement" in Orthodoxy. I do not, in any fashion, disagree with the requirements of the Orthodox faith, but I sometimes, wish, just a bit that we could be patient with people on their journey to God.

NOW, FOR THE DISCLAIMER: I mean this in the most general terms, and I am not talking specifically about Euphrosynos Cafe. I am speaking about groups on the WWW, people I know personally, etc.
I'm not going to say anymore, because I've said too much all ready. Please don't take any offense. I do not mean to be critical, I'm just looking at my own reactions to things.

[OrthodoxyOrDeath]

Look at it this way, people who are rude to you are simply giving you opportunities toward your salvation. This is true even if you don't respond very well because then we discover what's really inside us, which is a notice we have more work to do.

And when people are rude to you, you can also take it as a sign that although you might think they are being spiritually weak, there may be a need for you to soften your approach.

Dealing with people around you who you love is a art form of a very delicate type. At least on the internet we have time to plan our responses better (or at least I hope) - in person we don't have that luxury. On the other hand, I think there are times when you need to stand up and speak the truth without sugar coating it; there are a few internet "priests" and "bishops" who day after day feed Christ's children garbage and need to be soundly checked. This does not mean we need to be "rude", but only that they see a clear message that their views are not only rejected, but seen as a dangerous cancer.

This is something I have so much more to correct myself. I think patience is a key ingredient. Anyway, you probably don't need me giving you lessons (:) ), but this has just been my own experience and thoughts on the matter.

For the record - officially while I watch this forum for Fr. Nicholas - I draw the line with personal attacks. I don't care if they are directed at me, but with toward others a person will get one warning, maybe two. Of course I would prefer if everyone just exchanged thoughts and were honest and caring everyday....

[gphadraig]

Thank you, Ma'am, thank you, Sir. Time for reflection on what you have taken the time to write.

[Natasha]

Other forums are definately not perfect, and can be a lot worse! I must be missing something, but to me, it has seemed very quiet around here lately.

[OrthodoxyOrDeath]

Other forums are definately not perfect, and can be a lot worse! I must be missing something, but to me, it has seemed very quiet around here lately.

I've noticed that too. I think it is in part due to the database problem and all of the users having to re-register. I also think it is because of the absence of a few key posters - who often introduced new topics to discuss.