Lord Have Mercy!
Lord Have Mercy!
Moderator: Mark Templet
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romiosini
You absolutely MUST honor your parents until you are of legal age.
How can you be expected to honor a spiritual Father if you do not have enough Love and Respect in your heart to take council from those who gave you life, nourished and loved you and only have your best interest at heart?
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They say that I am bad news. They say "Stay Away."
Nice choice of options, but the most likely one is: NEVER MY SON! AND they will ALWAYS think that is the best interests of the child.
Monasticism is a calling. Your choice, when called, will be to obey God, or your parents, should they disapprove. Clearly, however, "disappearing" is completely undesireable as it gives rise to the "Orthodox monasticism is a cult" mindset. The young man needs to be up front about his plans. He should, of course, finish school, and then when he is of legal age, he should then leave for the monastery.
However, he needs to bear in mind that he may face strenuous opostition from his parents, and that it may be extremely punitive, and hateful. Many in America have faced just this difficulty. In America, it is often necessary, depending on jurisdiction, to have the blessing of the Geronda or Gerondissa, one's spiritual father, and the blessing of the Bishop or Metropolitan the monastery is under as well. Clearly, a "runaway" minor is not likely to obtain these blessings.
As American parents are disapproving at any age, more and more, because they lack a basic understanding of the concept of Orthodox monasticism, the choice is often, obey God, or obey your parents. and in rank order of the commandments, obeying God comes first.
As to TomS, the idea that one's parents know best about how to guide one's soul is simply ludicrous. Look around you and see how observant most families are in your GOA parish, then come back and say otherwise. The guidance of one's spiritual father is what needs to be considered, here, and what he advises is the main concern. Too often, obeying one's parents puts one at odds with the church. in which case, Christ himself points out that divisions will happen.
Vicki
Something similar to this happened to a boy I knew when I was little...he must have been about 16 and I was about 7...I remember he was a very smart and funny boy. He decided that he wanted to become a monk and because of his age, his Priest instructed him to begin by not speaking (something like a mini-vow of silence). Sorry if I can't explain it better, but like I said I was young...I don't know if he actually became a monk, but he really did take the silence thing seriously!
-BTW, nice to check in here again, I don't think I have been online in a month!
Vickie wrote:....Look around you and see how observant most families are in your GOA parish, then come back and say otherwise. The guidance of one's spiritual father is what needs to be considered, here, and what he advises is the main concern.
"Otherwise".The point is that they are IN CHURCH. And yet YOU still judge the parents. Typical.
Vicki wrote:..the choice is often, obey God, or obey your parents. and in rank order of the commandments, obeying God comes first.
Not when they are STILL children. Spoken out of true ignorance of the teaching of the Fathers and Church history.
You find me ONE Priest that would tell a 16 y.o boy to not pay any attention to his parents wishes and run away from them and I will show you a Priest who should be defrocked.
Last edited by TomS on Wed 26 May 2004 1:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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They say that I am bad news. They say "Stay Away."
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Justin Kissel
romiosini
There are examples in the lives of monastics to fit all of the descriptions. In a western society, though, both because of society itself and because of the effect that society probably had on the person who wants to be a monk, I'd think that holding off would be the best option. Wait until age 18, at least then there would be less problems if and when the person did decide to become a monk (at least in the United States that would be the case, though you might have to declare yourself independent).
In the meanwhile, there's a story in the Desert Fathers that might be of some use. One monk kept being tempted to go out and live in the desert instead of his cell. So what he did was he went out into the desert for a few days as a test. He quickly realized that he didn't have what it took to follow such a path (at least at that time), so he went back to his former life. I think this is good advice for those looking into monasticism to consider. Try living the life that a monastic might: doing all the dirty chores and trying not to let it harm your inner peace, sleep little, pray often, learn the psalms almost by heart, give alms beyond your means (not just what you can "spare"), and so forth. Also, obey your parents even if what they are saying seems unjust or even to go against what you believe to be right. This will be a good test to see if you can become a monk. One should not necessarily expect to be greeted with loving hugs and soothing words upon entering the monastery (if anything, they might give you a rough time to see if you are serious).
One last thing, regarding obeying the parents. There's another story in the Sayings of the Desert Fathers, in which a monk had a God-given dream. He told this dream to his natural father (whom he apparently lived with) who was also a monk. The Father thought that the dream was sent by demons, and beat the child. The child then went to a famous Abba and told him about the dream. The Abba said that the dream was from God, but that the monk should return and obey his father. When the time came, I'm sure the monk was able to move on: but the monk had to realize that it was not time to go off on his own quite yet, even if he was having divinely-inspired dreams.
PS. Welcome Back, Natasha 