Following is a journalist's delight...actually two of them:
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News Flash # 1
Archimandrite Arrested at Miami International Airport
The Very Rev. Archimandrite Michael, an Orthodox priest from Haiti, was ARRESTED at the Miami International Airport on Friday, 16 July, for trying to SMUGGLE a can of 24 karot gold spray paint out of the country in his suitcase. Rev. Michael was ARRESTED by the federal authorities (since Miami International Airport is an international airport...which means it has US Customs and Immigration agents), thus making it a FEDERAL OFFENSE.
Since the transportation of such articles (combustable/flamable) in airplanes is now FORBIDDEN...even on domestic flights, the reverend was FORCED to SURRENDER the spray paint before being permitted to board the aircraft. Because the spray paint was certifiably 24 karot gold and very expensive, and because the reverend was taking it back to Haiti in order to spray some religious articles, he was saddened to have to relinquish the paint. While discussing ways or other possibilities to take the paint with him, he was HELD in a glass CAGE during which time he was OBVIOUSLY WATCHED for twenty minutes by the authorities.
Finally, having no alternative, Rev.Michael gave the can of paint to the AUTHORITIES and he was then given his FREEDOM to leave.
NOW, here's the real story:
NEWS FLASH # 2
The Very Rev. Archimandrite Michael, an Orthodox priest from Haiti,
was detained briefly at the Miami International Airport on Friday, 16 July, because he had a can of 24 karot gold spray paint in his suitcase. Father Michael was questioned about the spray paint because such articles (combustable/flamable) are not permtted to be carried on airplanes....not even on domestic flights, a regulation about which he did not know.
Father Michael apologised for not knowing of the regulation and although he was sad to have to leave it behind, he willingly gave the can of spray paint to the federal authorities (since Miami International is a port of entry, and therefore staffed by federal agents), and was escorted to an air conditioned glass room while waiting to have his suitcase re-tagged. The federal agents were extremely polite and even asked Father Michael for his blessing before he left.
THIS IS A SPOOF, of course, but it has a point. I have capitalized several words in the first "News Flash" in order to make them stand out and to show that the clever useage of words can slant almost any article to
make the reader think what the writer wants him or her to think.
Take, for example:
"ARRESTED" and detained.
"SMUGGLE" and carrying
"FORBIDDEN" and not permitted
"FORCED" and asked
"SURRENDER" and give
"HELD" and escorted to....
"GLASS CAGE" and air-conditioned glass room
"OBVIOUSLY WATCHED" and asked for his blessing
"given his FREEDOM" and left
Now compare these two articles with the junk that was written about Metropoliltan Valentin when he departed from JFK in NYC!
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Archimandrite Michael...a former journalist
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