On Headcoverings and Modesty of Women in Church

[joasia]

I have to re-assess my response. Men are not the only ones that notice what women wear. Plenty of women make comments too. And I've never noticed tight-fitting shirts on men. I just notice if they are good-looking.

The point is that we spend too much time talking and nit-picking about these issues that it becomes a stupidity.

We're not living in the first century. We should all admit that we are a mess, in these days.

Perhaps we should concentrate on how we post instead. What I mean is that the spiritual focus should be on interactive conduct.

[Helen]

I have to re-assess my response. Men are not the only ones that notice what women wear. Plenty of women make comments too.

Dear Joasia,

The way I look at this issue is like this:

St.Ambrose of Optina gives the example of how we should judge other's personal sins. "If you see someone walking down the road say to yourself "There goes ....." and that is the end of that. It should be the same when we see or hear of other's personal sins".

But it would be silly of me to say "Oh look there is no-one there" when in fact there is. I think there is a difference in noticing something and judging someone. In addition, if a new-comer where to ask me about scarves in Church, I would simply say "For women to wear a scarf is what the Church teaches, but whether you follow that tradition or not depends on your faith and willingness to follow that tradition". I have many friends that go to Church and don't wear scarves, but although I wear a scarf, I certainly do not insist that others do or deride them if they don't. In fact I never even mention it.

Lastly, if we know that this is what the Church teaches and for whatever reason we choose not to follow it, isn't it much better to just say "I am weak and at the moment cannot do it and don't know if and when I will be able to" rather than justify our actions continually and what's even worse, blame other's for our own shortcomings?

[Helen]

In fact I never even mention it.

In fact I never even think about it. I only think about it if it's being discussed.

[joasia]

Helen,

I think that the issue is the level of dispassion, like your example of St. Ambrose.

Because we know what is taught by tradition and we can see what is around us, but dispassion should be exercised in our hearts. So there are two views..one of dispassion and one of passion(due to weakness of the mind). One person who is blessed with dispassion can say: There is a woman who doesn't cover her head and the other person with passsion can say: there is a woman that doesn't cover her head.

Both, make the same observation, but one has peace in the heart and the other is disturbed. The same sentence, but from a different source.

We know what is right to do, in the eyes of God, but the way we view others becomes our sin, if we allow it. The saints are the perfect example of dispassion.

It's important to see what is happening around us and take a stance for truth, but if we do it with anger, then we are defeating the whole purpose.

We lose sight of the true enemy and instead target the instrument. There will only be another instrument to follow afterwards, but we never get to the source because we are always fighting these senseless battles with the instruments.

They're like decoys.

[Helen]

I totally agree with you on that Joasia. The intention and the way we say and do things makes all the difference.