Correcting others in love.....

[Etienne]

Quoted in the Summer 2004 issue of "Orthodox News", Bungay, England

From the 'Arena' by St. Ignaty Brianchaninov

If you want to be a true, zealous son of the Orthodox Church, you can do so by the fulfilment of the commandments of the Gospel in regard to your neighbour. Do not dare convict him. Do not dare to teach him. Do not dare to condemn or reproach him. To correct your neighbour in this way is not an act of faith, but of foolish zeal, self-opinion and pride. Poemen the Great was asked, "What is faith?" The great man replied that faith consists in remaining in humility and showing mercy; that is to say, in humbling oneself before one's neighbours and forgiving them all discourtesies and offences, all their sins. As foolish zealots make out that faith is the prime cause of their zeal, let them know that true faith, and consequently also true zeal, must express themselves in humility regarding our neighbours and in mercy towards them. Let us leave the work of judging and convicting people to those persons on whose shoulders is laid the duty of judging and ruling their brethren.

"He who is moved by false zeal", said St Isaac the Syrian, "is suffering from a severe illness, O man, you who think to use your zeal against the infirmities of others, you have renounced the health of your own soul! You had better bestow you care on the healing of yourself, and if you want to heal the sick, know that the sick need nursing, rather than reprimand. But you, instead of healing others, cast yourself into the same painful illness. This zeal is not counted among men as a form of wisdom, but, as a sign of narrow-mindedness and extreme ignorance. The beginning of divine wisdom is quietness and meekness, which is the basic state of mind proper to great and strong souls and which bears human weakness. 'You who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, says Scripture (Romans 15, 1)"

I have had a copy of The Arena for many years. This particular quotation struck me almost physically, a reproof to that tendency to correct or challenge others............. It also brought to mind a question about how does an Orthodox Christian witness the Gospel to the world, by following Him in all humility.

[Maria]

Quoted in the Summer 2004 issue of "Orthodox News", Bungay, England

From the 'Arena' by St. Ignaty Brianchaninov

If you want to be a true, zealous son of the Orthodox Church, you can do so by the fulfilment of the commandments of the Gospel in regard to your neighbour. Do not dare convict him. Do not dare to teach him. Do not dare to condemn or reproach him. To correct your neighbour in this way is not an act of faith, but of foolish zeal, self-opinion and pride. Poemen the Great was asked, "What is faith?" The great man replied that faith consists in remaining in humility and showing mercy; that is to say, in humbling oneself before one's neighbours and forgiving them all discourtesies and offences, all their sins. As foolish zealots make out that faith is the prime cause of their zeal, let them know that true faith, and consequently also true zeal, must express themselves in humility regarding our neighbours and in mercy towards them. Let us leave the work of judging and convicting people to those persons on whose shoulders is laid the duty of judging and ruling their brethren.

"He who is moved by false zeal", said St Isaac the Syrian, "is suffering from a severe illness, O man, you who think to use your zeal against the infirmities of others, you have renounced the health of your own soul! You had better bestow you care on the healing of yourself, and if you want to heal the sick, know that the sick need nursing, rather than reprimand. But you, instead of healing others, cast yourself into the same painful illness. This zeal is not counted among men as a form of wisdom, but, as a sign of narrow-mindedness and extreme ignorance. The beginning of divine wisdom is quietness and meekness, which is the basic state of mind proper to great and strong souls and which bears human weakness. 'You who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, says Scripture (Romans 15, 1)"

I have had a copy of The Arena for many years. This particular quotation struck me almost physically, a reproof to that tendency to correct or challenge others............. It also brought to mind a question about how does an Orthodox Christian witness the Gospel to the world, by following Him in all humility.

Dear Etienne et al,

Thanks for the responses so far.

What do you think of the American notion of confronting your alcoholic relatives? Is it done outside of the USA? If we wait until we are perfect, the alcoholic may be dead.

Realistically, there is absolutely nothing I can do but pray. I have written my brother a letter, telling him that I truly love him in Christ, and begging him to seek help. However, he refuses to admit that he has a problem even though he is bossy and arrogant with his own sons and very argumentative and threatening with the rest of his siblings.

When we were teenagers, he stabbed me with a knife and my parents forced me to tell the authorities that I cut myself. There is so much denial going on. Perhaps they like him to be mellow and drunk. Perhaps they have never seen him sober or maybe they have and prefer him to be a drunk mellowed rambler rather than a sober paranoid grumbler. He claims that he only drinks at night (or after 12 noon), so that he's really not an alcoholic. - Yeah. Part of the denial process.

There is this enabler mentality that my other siblings have adopted whereby they actually protect him from me, and tell him that I am being bossy and judgmental. I fear that some of them may also be hidden alcoholics - hence the sympathy.

So I guess I will take out my Acathist to the Life-Giving Chalice and pray that devoutly every day until he becomes sober and sees the light. In the meantime, communications with my family are at an all time low as they believe that I am in a cult because I'm Orthodox. They claim that the anabaptists have a claim back to 33 AD but were almost eliminated by the Orthodox, whom they claim is the cult church. And they further claim that the CIA proved them right. Oh boy, I've heard it all.

Then they keep telling me to go see Benny Hinn.

Anyway, how can one dialogue in love with people who are obvious stoned heretics. One cannot because their thinking is fuzzy.

Prayer is my only hope.

Any thoughts here.

Love and prayers,
Maria

[Etienne]

Maria,

My heart aches on reading your post. In a sense does St Ignaty counsell offer something? The family appear only to want to hear that you concur with them.

Love, prayer and the counsel of a good priest perhaps?

[Justin Kissel]

Maria,

When my friend was diagnosed with cancer, and told he only had a couple months to live, people were telling him to go see Benny Hinn. But God works miracles wherever he wants, and among whoever he wants. Many blessings on your path.

Justin

[Justin Kissel]

Maria,

Still around? How are things going?

[brendan]

It's one thing to enter into a reasoned discussion/debate with one of them if they're open to that, but anything smacking of deception will not only feed their paranoia, but may also be very dangerous to the person pulling such a stunt.

Good advice. Many skinheads love to fight and think nothing of punching someone out who tries to give them trouble.

[Maria]

Maria,

Still around? How are things going?

Thanks for your concern. I had to cut off communications with my brother as he got into the attack mode and became very defensive like a possum caught in a corner. He is trying desperately to get me cut off from any inheritance. If the inheritance means denying my faith, forget it. Money can't buy heaven. That's where I draw the line. Time to back off and let him cool down.

My brother is not reasonable. Perhaps the alcohol has already caused some permanent brain injury? I only hope not. Pray that he overcomes his alcoholism before permanent damage is done to his liver and brain.

I did talk with him about Orthodoxy but he views it as a cult and claims that the anabaptists were persecuted by Orthodox Christians from the Apostolic times. He says that the CIA has proof and verified this for the servicemen of our country. Does this sound like an urban legend?

Anyway, I have probably opened up some new ideas for new threads.

If anyone wants to tackle any of these issues, I'd be grateful for any help, but I honestly feel that I have to pray and leave the rest to God.]
As the old saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."

Any comments?

Love in Christ-God,
Maria