The Saint Euphrosynos Cafe

Well, I'm going to be graduating from High-School this January, about one semester earlier than my peers. And, I just don't know what to do next. I'm still undecided on whether or not I want to become a monk (or at least a single Priest) or get married, and this decision is going to affect what I do after I graduate. If I become a monk, I won't really need any education. I could just learn a trade to help out at the monastery. If I become a Priest, I'd want a Philosophy degree, if I get married, I'd need a higher paying job. What do I do and how do I decide? It is tough asking for advice on this from school counselors or even my family because none of them are Orthodox. They are not keeping our morality and spiritual struggles in mind. For example, many secularists may tell me to pursue a really great job that would require years and years of education and to avoid marriage until then, however, they are not keeping in mind that we are expected to be celibate until marriage, and staying celibate for that long can be a challenge for many people. I don't see myself getting married. I'm a hermit. It's as simple as that. If I did get married, then it would have to be to an attractive woman who is so devoutly Orthodox and loving to God that she would attend every single Church service with me, even on our anniversary. She'd have to be the type where in order to truly win her heart that is so grounded in God, I'd have to come closer to Him myself. On the other hand, I could avoid all higher education and strictly pursue monasticism, but what happens if I wash-out and find out that it isn't for me? It will be like I threw my life away and will take much effort to get back on track. What am I supposed to do? My mom wants me to become a pharmacist, but I don't know if I want to waste 6-8 years of my life in college. What if I fall into fornication during that time? What if I decide to become a monk and this education ends up being pointless?

How do I know what to do? Does anyone here have any wise Orthodox advice to give me? I emailed my Priest about this but he's on the East Coast with his dying mother so it could be a while before I receive a response.

James,

It's nice to see you posting here again. Just a quick question - have you had the opportunity to spend much, or any, time at a monastery?

-Antonios

Do not visit or spend time at an OCA monastery, especially the one in California.

This may sound a little silly, but if you are a hermit, a monastery is no place for you. Also, your posts indicate that you have trouble with celibacy. Many monks and nuns have fallen into sexual sins in monasteries because they believed they would be safe from temptation. They were wrong.

There are no single priests in the Orthodox Church. They are either married or monks.

You asked for advice, so here is some. You are exceedingly intelligent, so go on to college and use that brain that God gave you. No education is ever a waste of time.
As you interact with your school-mates, be gentle, humble, loving and compassionate. This will help you grow spiritually. Try to look outward a little more.

JamesR,
If you really have a vocation for a religious life, in my humble opinion, you would know what do and act upon it. I recall, it was about forty-five years ago when I went to a priest for advice in regard what to do with myself for I told him, I felt I was call by God to a religious life. However, I had a problem. My mother was expecting from me to repay her some money that I borrowed from her one year earlier. I wanted to be able to pay back my mother first and then join a religious order. The priest, who was the founder of a Secular Institute, said to me: “Nadir, your calling to religious life is for today not for tomorrow. If you go away in search to earn money in order to repay your Mum, who is going to guarantying that you will not lose your call to religious life? You stay with us in our Secular Institute. We will provide for your mother to get her money back within a few months time. I just did that and never regretted.
Nadir

Antonios wrote:

James,

It's nice to see you posting here again. Just a quick question - have you had the opportunity to spend much, or any, time at a monastery?

-Antonios

No my parents won't let me until I'm 18 because they are Protestants.

I am glad you are asking for advice, James R.
We all like you here and you are very welcome to seek comments, thoughts.

I don't agree though about college
I believe at this point that it's a total waste of time.
What Lydia said holds true all the way up til now. But at this juncture,
education is SO derailed onto all sorts of programming and harmful propaganda that
I think it is WORSE to go through college.

I found a nice college for both men and women in Wyoming, of all places.
It is a Catholic college and fairly strict, I think.
I will get the article for you, but I was most impressed as cell phones are NOT allowed
and neither is the Internet in the dorms. Only for research.

Parents can contact their children freely, but NOT using a cell phone direct to the student.
That is actually GOOD in your case with Protestant parents who probably rib you all the time
about your "pagan" beliefs and worship of idols [regarding icons] and all that trash.

An Orthodox college like THIS one would be fabulous to envision. But I don't believe it exists yet.

Let me get that article for you. I had never heard of the place but was completely impressed.
That's only IF you decide to go that route.

But I am hoping you will head for where your heart desires.
Tell us a little more if you can, but I think it's great you are able to articulate so well !
Hardly anyone does at any age these days [does anyone notice that people don't have the ability
to talk about their true emotions or inner workings or dilemmas. They are flat, with "no affect" as
said in psychology. You have lots of life. It gives encouragement to all of us readers here !