Spiritual Dry Spell

[PFC Nektarios]

I am the one going into the military. I joined the United States Marine Corps.

In Christ
OL

[away]

I recommend Saint John of Kronstadt, "Spiritual Counsels".

[Mary Kissel]

O.L. these dry spells happen to me a lot more than I can even keep track of. There are days when I just don't 'want' to do anything and just sit and read a fiction novel and neglect my other reading as well as praying. Then I get upset at myself and I think I've been Orthodox for 2 years or so and I'm still not getting 'with the program'. But don't give up no matter how you feel because probly most of us who are Orthodox, whether cradle or converts to Orthodoxy have dry spells such as these. It's the times when you don't 'feel' like reading anything spiritual, the Bible, and even praying that you must pray even if you don't 'feel' the same as you do at other times. God gives us these struggles to remind us that we need Him, that we can't live without Him. When we're sick, we pray to Him asking us to feel better, when we are better chances are we forget about Him and don't even thank Him for answering our prayer. I'm not judging anyone, so please no one think that I'm pointing fingers or giving advice that I don't follow. I do try to follow my own advice and it is hard to stick to, also just remember O.L. you are a Catechuman now, you will encounter MANY struggles in this period and MANY more to come after you're Orthodox. Even starting out saying a simple short prayer such as "Most Holy Theotokos save us." or the Jesus prayer or just "Lord have mercy!" is a good start, just 'keep on truckin!'

In Christ,
the sinner,
MaryCecilia K.

[Justin Kissel]

Some quotes that might be helpful :)

"Our major struggle is against the demon of gloom, who obscures the soul's capacity for spiritual contemplation and keeps it from all good works. When this malicious demon seizes our soul and darkens it completely, he prevents us from praying eagerly, from reading Holy Scripture with profit and perseverance, and from being gentle and compassionate towards our brethren... If our purpose is to fight the spiritual fight and to defeat, with God's help, the demons of malice, we should take every care to guard our heart from the demon of gloom... our fight is against the passions within. Once these have been extirpated from our heat by the grace and help of GOd, we will readily be able to live not simply with other men, but even with wild beasts...

The only form of depression we should cultivate is the sorrow which goes with repentance for sin and is accompanied by hope in God. It was of this form of dejection that the Apostle said: 'Godly sorrow produces a saving repentance which is not to be repented of' (2 Cor. 7:10). This 'godly sorrow' nourishes the soul through the hope engendered by repentance, and it is mingled with joy. That is why it makes us obedient and eager for every good work: accessible, humble, gentle, forbearing and patient in enduring all the suffering or tribulation God may send us... But from the other kind of dejection we come to know the fruits of the evil spirit: listlessness [ie. indifference, dejection, etc.], impatience, anger, hatred, contentiousness, despair, sluggishness in praying... It can be healed by prayer, hope in God, meditation on Holy Scripture, and by living with godly people." - Saint John Cassian (quoted in: Heavenly Wisdom From God-Illumined Teachers On Conquering Depression, [Saint Herman of Alaska Brotherhood, 1998], pp. 20-21)

"The natural state of the human soul is lamentation for Paradise lost. It's unnatural to be constantly entertained. Only when you are in a state of lamentation do consolations console you and bring you to a state of contrition wherein God hears you." - Fr. Adrian of New Diveyevo (Ibid., p. 25)

"The abiding of our soul with the Lord, which is the whole essence of inner work, is not something that depends upon us. The Lord visits the soul, and the soul dwells with Him; the soul rejoices before Him and he fills it with spiritual warmth. Then the Lord withdraws and at once the soul is empty, nor does it lie at all within its power to make the Good Visitor of souls return. The Lord withdraws to put the soul to the test, or sometimes to punish it, not so much for external trespasses but for some inner evil to which the soul has granted admission." - Saint Theophan the Recluse (Ibid., p. 32)

"The inexpressible and unaccountable melancholy that oppresses you and prevents you from enjoying anything may be a test, intended to prove teh firmness of your decision and the purity of your love of God. It is not the joy of the spirit alone that manifests our love of God; unflinching courage, staunchly maintained through long periods of darkness and anguish, proves this love even more definitely." - Elder Macarius of Optina (Ibid., p. 37)

"Do not be despondent when the clouds of hell, each darker than the last, descend on your soul; when infernal malice, envy, doubt, obstinancy, and other vices rise up in your soul. Know surely that the gathering of these dark clouds upon your mental horizon is inevitable; but they are not always there, and they will not remain long--like dark clouds in the natural sky they pass over and disappear, and afterwards the mental atmosphere is clear again. As in nature, clouds in the sky there must be, and the darkening of the light of day, but the clouds are not constant, they soon pass away, and then the light of the sun shines forth again with renewed power." - Saint John of Kronstadt (Ibid., pp. 65-66)

"When it happens that your soul is inwardly filled with darkness and that, just as the rays of the sun are at times shut off from the earth by clouds, so the soul is deprived for a time of spiritual comfort, and when the light of grace becomes dimmed within because a cloud of passions covers the soul; and because the joy-creating force is weakened in you, so that your mind is shrouded in unaccustomed darkness; then let not your thought be troubled, but be patient; read the books of the teachers, force yourself to pray and wait for help. it will be quick in coming, it will be there before you know it. For as the face of the earth is delivered by the rays of the sun from the darkness of clouds enshrouding it, so prayer can destroy and disperse the clouds of passions in the soul and illumine the mind by the light of comfort and joy." - Saint Isaac the Syrian (Ibid., pp. 87-77)

"Take courage! When the warmth of the spirit grows weak, we should strive in every way to restore it, cleaving to teh Lord with fear and trembling. Everyting comes from Him. Despondency, boredom, heaviness of spirit and body may occasionally oppress us and remain for a long time. You should not lose heart, but should stand firm, zealously working according to the rules you have undertaken. And do not expect the soul to be freed quickly from its attraction toward the wrong state; do not expect it always to preserve an equal warmth and sweetness. This never happens. On the contrary, always expect sudden changes. When dullness and heaviness come, realize that this is you, the true you, as you are; as to spiritual sweetness, accept it as an undeserved bonus." - Saint Theophan the Recluse (Ibid., p. 97)

"Above all, watch carefully when the soul grows cool. This is a bitter and dangerous state. The Lord uses it as one of His means of guidance, instruction, and correction. But it can also be a kind of punishment. The reason is usually an open sin, but since in your case no such sin is in evidence, the cause should be sought in inner feelings and dispositions. It may e that a high opinion of yourself has stolen into you, and you think that you are not like the others? Maybe you are planning to tread the path of salvation by yourself and to ascend on high by your own efforts?

...You undertake different tasks, so you tell me, 'in most cases unwillingly and without any eagerness--I have no force myself.' But this, after all, is a basic principle in the spiritual life--to set yourself in opposition to what is bad and to force yourself to do what is good. This is the meaning of the Lord's words, 'The Kingdom of Heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.' (Matt. 11:12) This is why following the Lord is a yoke. If all were done eagerly, where would be the yoke? Yet in the end it so comes about that everything is done easily and willingly." - Saint Theophan the Recluse (Ibid., p. 106)

"We grow cold within when our heart is distracted, when it cleaves to something other than God, worrying about different things, getting angry and blaming someone--when we are discontented and pander to the flesh, wallowing in luxury and wandering thoughts. Guard against these things, and the coldness will diminish." - Saint Theophan the Recluse (Ibid., p. 110)

"Provide yourself with such work for your hands as can be done, if possible, both during the day and at night, so that you are not a burden to anyone, and indeed can give to others, as Paul the Apostle advises (cf. 1 Thes. 2:9; Eph. 4:28). In this manner you will overcome the demon of listlessness and drive away all the desires suggested by the enemy; for the demon of listlessness takes advantage of idleness. 'Every idle man is full of desires' (Prov. 13:4 LXX)." - Evagrios the Solitary, On Asceticism and Stillness (Quoted in the Philokalia, Vol. 1, p. 35)

"A monk should always act as if he was going to die tomorrow; yet he should treat his body as if it was going to live for many years. The first cuts off the inclination to listlessness, and makes the monk more diligent; the second keeps his body sound and his self=control well balanced." - Evagrios the Solitary, Extracts From the Texts on Watchfulness (Ibid., p. 53)

"When our soul begins to lose its appetite for earthly beauties, a spirit of listlessness is apt to steal into it. This prevents us from taking pleasure in study and teaching, and from feeling any strong desire for the blessings prepared for us in the life to come; it also leads us to disparage this transient life excessively, as not possessing anything of value. It even depreciates spiritual knowledge itself, either on the ground that many others have already acquired it or because it cannot teach us anything perfect. To avoid this passion, which dejects and enervates us, we must confine the mind within very narrow limits, devoting ourselves solely to the rememberance of God. Only in this way will the intellect be able to regain its original fervour and escape this senseless dissipation." - Saint Diadochos of Photiki, On Spiritual Knowledge, 58 (Idid., p. 270)

"Struggle to preserve unimpaired the light that shines within your intellect. If passion begins to dominate you when you look at things, this means that the Lord has left you in darkness; He has dropped the reins with which He was guiding you, and the light of your eyes is gone from you (cf. Ps. 38:10). Yet even if this happens, do not despair or give up, but pray to God with the words of David: 'O send out Thy light and Thy truth to me in my gloom, for Thou art salvation of my countenance and my God' (cf. Ps. 43:3, 5); 'Thou shalt send forth Thy Spirit and they shall be created; Thou shalt renew the face of the earth' (Ps. 104:30 LXX)...

Blessed is he who, with a hunger that is never satisfied, day and night throughout this present life makes prayer and the psalms his food and drink, and strengthens himself by reading of God's glory in Scripture. Such communion will lead the soul to ever-increasing joy in the age to come... Do all in your power not to fall, for the strong athlete should not fall. But if you do fall, get up again at once and continue the contest. Even if you fall a thousand times because of the withdrawal of God's grace, rise up again each time, and keep on doing so until the day of your death." - Saint John of Karpathos, Texts For The Monks In India, 82-84 (Ibid., pp. 317-318)