I do the Jesus Prayer 4 times a day at set times during the day for ten minutes at a time. I try to be very strict on myself with the time and duration. Sometimes it is extremely difficult and often I find myself almost in despair at my inability to concentrate or my almost irresistable desire to cease before the ten minutes is up. But I have found that the fruits of this prayer are not all obvious and visible, and often my most pathetic efforts are rewarded with Gods most sweet gifts.
The only reason I started to do this prayer was because God in his mercy showed me my sins, and I realised that the only way to truly live was to hold as my ideal unceasing prayer and repentance.
I have no Spiritual Father, and no-one to teach me, but according to the Fathers, those without guides are taught by God through events and extreme providential crosses. This is true. I think I have fallen for every kind of delusion I have read about through my proud and vain and ignorent pursuit of this Holy way. But Jesus is gentle and beyond good and he lets me destroy myself often, so that he can revive me again with his Grace. Let me just say, do not take the warnings on delusion lightly. I also reccomend, if I may, if you have no experienced guide, keep the prayer to ten or fifteen minutes at a time. I learned this after some bad experiences trying to pray for a long time and being led by my imagination into the depths of fear.
I think now that when I stop my prayer, or forget the Lord, or lose myself in my daydreams or passions or cares, I am actually dying. I mean I am dying the death of my soul and it only takes a few seconds to acomplish. That is what the Jesus Prayer has taught me. It has also taught me fear and hope. In between prayer I try to keep the prayer going inside me whatever I am doing, and if i forget it, start again right away. Its like a shield and a weapon and food and drink.
I keep three things in mind during the prayer that I learned from the Fathers. Number one is to strive to concentrate only on the words of the prayer and ignore every other feeling and thought. We do the human part, which is attention to the words, and God does the divine part, pouring grace into the humble heart that only tries to say the words without distraction. Looking for things is no good. The second thing I remember is to always stay within the faith I have recieved, not to try to go beyond what I have got, or think that my efforts are any help in some kind of deepening of the prayer. St Isaac says to pray like an ant. The third thing I try to do is, before i pray, I always do prostrations and ask God to grant me repentance and kindle in me fear of him along with hope in his mercy.
I try to pray as if I am whispering straight into the the Lords ear as a small child he is holding in his arm.
