Non-Orthodox in the life of the parish

[Marie]

I am interested to learn, in your experience, how much responsibililty NON-Orthodox might have in the life of the parish.

I just learned last night, while putting together my parish's bulletin in a corner of the parish hall - while the parish newsletter meeting was going on (non-private meeting- that a vehmently non-Orthodox woman is now going to be in charge of our newsletter (she had already been part of the committee for some time). This is mostly by default. The person who was heading it has been handed some much larger responsibilities, so the non-Orthodox woman, who has the technical skills, has been asked to do the newsletter. No one else who has the skills has the time to do it.

Here's my issue with the whole situation: the non-Orthodox woman is VERY anti-Orthodox. She attends on a semi-regular basis with her husband (apparently only to keep peace in the family), but has made it abundantly clear, both from her actions and comments, that the family will become Orthodox "over her dead body." She has formed some friendships with other young mothers, but other than that...she usually does not bother to control her children during services, gripes about having to stand, constantly has a very sour, angry look on her face during services (I never see any change when I have to turn around due to deacon censing the church, etc., as this family is always right behind me), so I also get to hear her comments to her husband. Her second child has a non-saint's name, wouldn't surprise me a bit if it was deliberate on the mother's part (even the middle name isn't a saint's name). When some in the parish gave her a bit of help (some meals) after baby #2 arrived, she was blatantly ungrateful. Her husband has desperately wanted for some years to become Orthodox, but given the situation with the wife, I think our priest has shown wisdom in NOT bringing the husband into the church without the rest of the family.

I had previously been asked to write something regular for the newsletter, but refused, as it was going to be church-related (not just, say births, etc.), and I wasn't about to let a non-Orthodox who despises the Church edit my writing.

What sort of things have you experienced in your parish's about the involvement of non-Orthodox, or do your priests quash down this sort of thing? I'm trying to decide if it's worth it taking my concerns to my priest.

Edited to add: I am still trying to figure out why the non-Orthodox woman in question is taking on this responsibility. All I can figure is that she was asked to do it by a friend, and it's a chance to use certain skills she has.

[sue57]

This is an issue for the priest and the parish council. It does not seem logical that a parish council would knowingly entrust the newsletter to someone who is obviously "anti-Orthodox." Surely the priest is aware of this person's views. Is there perhaps another component to the story? I mean, it seems odd that someone so opposed to Orthodoxy would even continue to attend church. Were this women's children baptized in the Orthodox Church? Also, who, WHO in heaven's name, is ungrateful for a free meal??(!) Maybe it is just her nature to be critical.

Usually, non-Orthodox participation is welcomed by those who willingly give it. If she's just doing it to put it on a resume, then she is using the goodwill of the parish for her own gain, and if so, then that is her sin, between her and God. Maybe the priest feels that by giving her responsibility, it will soften her heart.

[spiridon]

If this lady as you say is so anti-Orthodox and God bless her little child, you would be very surprise of the names out there that people dont realise are a saints name.....anyway we must really try with all our might to not judge people at church....and my my statement and question, please remember i mean no harm by these...
But you and the rest of the Faithful havent the time for this church responsibility,and the anith -Orthodox does have the willingness and time, that makes no sense...maybe this position should be granted to 2 people an Orthodox and her, the Orthodox for her or his faith and her(anti-Orthodox) for her expertise.........

[Marie]

Thank you for your responses. I have decided, for various reasons, that I'm not going to bring this up with my priest now. I'm going to wait and see if anything happens.

The newsletter has only been around for 4-5 months. A small parish of our size really doesn't need one. The parish council didn't really feel it was necessary, but decided to let it go on a month-to-month basis. There are several very solid Orthodox on the "advisory committee" but I do not know how much they are actually involved in the production of the newsletter.

I really do NOT know what is going on with this situation. If you, as folks outside of my parish are confused, I'm even more confused. My priest might very well have his own good reasons for allowing this, but I'm clueless as to what they might be.

I stand near the front of the church. I am on what would be the women's side, but my SCOBA parish doesn't follow that practice. I am near the front as I'm short and cannot see a thing without being in front. In any case, I get very light-headed towards the end of Divine Liturgy from the pre-Communion fast and it great helps to be one of the first ones into coffee hour - otherwise, there very likely might not be any food left! I'd love to join the choir, but my abilities are simply not up to it, plus I have enough other responsibilities in a small parish. I really cannot read music, I don't sing well enough, and "chanting" Matins is really stretching me!

[Marie]

Were this women's children baptized in the Orthodox Church? <snip> Maybe the priest feels that by giving her responsibility, it will soften her heart.

Sue, no this woman's children were NOT baptized in the Orthodox Church. They are growing up as nothing since the mother tightly hangs onto her Protestantism (if the father wants the very small children to kiss an icon, he has to lift them up himself, same thing about taking the children to the priest for a blessing), and the father continues to hope his wife will "come around."

Maybe the responsibility will soften her heart. Who knows?