As with any issue there are always two sides to every story, and most especially in the Terri Schiavo case. I read several sites for news stories and it never ceases to amaze me how the same facts are presented in such differing and biased views. The thing that remains at the forefront is that there was a feud…. a very long and often vicious feud. I’m sure that not even the Schindlers or the Schiavos know how it escalated that far or that badly.
Life and death decision are not easy and they carry a heavy weight.
A few years ago I took care of a woman I used to call Aunt. She was a childless widow, about 82 years old and a semi-invalid. Normally a “nice” woman, as she got older a sort a meanness began to appear about her. (I have a theory about that, but it is not germane to my story). For a number of years after her husband died, and while someone lived with her to take care of her, she was fine, but then she decided that she wanted to be alone and there was nothing we could do to persuade do otherwise. Of course her health declined because she did not eat regularly in the course of a day.
Fortunately for us, not long after her husband died, she set up a living will, health care proxy and power of attorney. She named me as her spokes person.
One night she fell and broke her hip. It took her most of the night to crawl to the phone. Unfortunately her break was in a place where it had to heal by itself, it could not be fixed. Because of the pain she was in, she would not move and because she would not move her arthritic joints began to atrophy and because she would not move she developed a bed sore and pneumonia. In addition she absolutely hated the hospital food and would not eat further weakening her system. To make matters worse, she learned that the hospital would not let her go home but that she would only be released into a nursing home. This sent her into a deep depression and she began to lose her desire to live. Her food intake dropped even lower and she lost even more weight. She was nothing but skin and bones. Her visitor’s began to say that I was starving her and created all kinds of difficulty for me with the hospital.
Her medical condition was worsening. She was not allowed regular water because she was aspirating it into her lungs. All she could have was a sort of shake (consistency of a milk shake) or jello, both of which she hated with a passion. She wanted water even though it could have drowned her. At this point the doctor wanted to insert a feeding tube. My aunt had become confused and couldn’t remember anything from hour to hour. The doctor felt that if we could get her healthy, she would get better and my aunt would regain her desire for life. Now, I had to decide how to best deal with this situation. I knew she did not want tubes of any kind, but I was also mad at her because based on all Orthodox teachings she was in effect committing suicide by not eating. I approached our priest for help, he came and confessed her and gave her communion.
It was decided to try a tube through her nose. The “food” did not agree with her. She returned it in full measure every time. Three days later we came to the stage of deciding to tube or not. I did not know what to do, so I dumped it in our priest’s lap and asked under church teaching what do I do? He had no answers and so he went to the bishop. The bishop came back with…. Don’t force her to do what she doesn’t want to do. She had attained the aged that God gave man, and a few more to boot… let nature take it’s course. Terri Schiavo was lucky that it only took her two weeks; my aunt took seven weeks to starve herself. In the end we couldn’t even get a quarter of a pound of food into her. Picture the container you get at the deli for ¼ lb.
We got the word that she would not last much longer at about 4AM on a Sunday moring. I did not have a Psalter, but I grabbed my prayer book and my mother and I went to the hospital. I started to read every Canon in my book, At about six my mother returned home to get ready for church and I continued with the prayers. She took her last breath at the end of the canon for repentance. I cannot express the feelings I had. I called my mother to tell her and my aunt was immediately prayed for at the great Entrance. Talk about timing!
To this day and it’s been five years…I think of her often. Would I want to be put in this situation again? The answer is no, the probability is yes I will probably have to do this again sometime in the future. I pray for a swift painless death for everyone. But I take comfort in the fact that a painful death, a slow death is a blessing because you get to pay for some of your sinfulness here. In this life.
Katya
