Finding a true orthodox spouse

[Jean-Serge]

I wanted to raise the topic of wedding or more exactly wedding for True orthodox persons. To be brief, we can remind for several reasons that orthodox are to marry orthodox, which is expressed in the canons in particular. The fact is that as true orthodox, we can be very isolated and have very little opportunity to meet other true orthodox persons. This makes difficult to find a true orthodox spouse. For in instance, in France; I would estimate the number of true orthodox of less than 600 people of all ages. The situation may be different in other countries where there are more true orthodox communities. So what are your suggestions for a true orthodox in such situations :

• isolated
• less isolated

[Barbara]

Relevant idea, Jean-Serge. I am absolutely certain that there are a number of us who are single
and we have to face the fact that it's a tiny, if not microscopic-sized, community from which to select the right spouse.

I was going to write up advice on what NOT to do. But I don't want to spoil the nice thread.
Maybe I should do that somewhere else ? Or later on, after any others have put in THEIR ideas.

It IS essential to find just the RIGHT person, not any one who comes along. On the other hand,
one can't wait forever...

[Jean-Serge]

Well, I hope I would get more answers to my question : maybe everybody here is married, or monastic...or does not have the single idea of what to do. Could you share your ideas with us Barbara: what to do and what not to do? Thank you...

[Barbara]

I would be glad to, Jean-Serge.

Give me 2 or 3 days -- and I am going to have even more to say !
Sounds cryptic but I WILL explain !

[Maria]

Before I met and married my husband when I was still a Roman Catholic, I promised our Lord three things:

1. That I would only date a man who was a Christian.

2. That the man destined to be my husband would be introduced to me at a Christian event.

3. That he would lead me closer to Christ.

I only asked:

That he would be tall, blonde, handsome, and an engineer.

Well, within three months, I had met my future husband. He was an engineer, was tall, blonde, and handsome, and most importantly, he was a Christian, although not yet baptized. He was looking for a woman who would lead him closer to Christ, so he readily took instructions and was baptized a month before we were to be married.

[Sdcn.Ephrem]

Pray to St. Xenia of St. Petersburg.

[Barbara]

Well, it's that time now, St Xenia's Day [depending where one is geographically].

I think of her more to help with homeless or difficult housing situations type of problems.
Maybe jobs.
But a spouse ? Why, Sbn Ephraim ?

Maria, I had to laugh ! That was funny how you blithely state what you were looking for
including even the profession of your future spouse.

Normally I would imagine that would be asking a little TOO much of God, that one detail.
But obviously it worked for you !

In general, it is good to have an idea in mind very specifically.

That way when one meets perhaps people sent by the DEVIL - yes, that happens, I think ! -
we will automatically screen them out if they have such and such WRONG qualities or characteristics or
even appearance differences.

It's a way to eliminate a lifetime of sorrow, married to a terrible predator to have a firm objective
in mind what one is asking for in his or her spouse.

Of course, the requests should be phrased "according to God's will". That way, if one's choice is silly [ he must
play tennis and have a good backhand ], you are open to God's superior Plan, compared with your own notions.

Maria, that struck me as amazing that your husband was so ready to be baptized. How rare in the general world out there !
You are indeed fortunate.

Maybe buy the poor man a dark blue or medium blue flannel jacket like the other one so he can go out without being attacked by the swarms of bees !
Sounds like he deserves a treat !