It IS imperative that order is kept in the Orthodox Church. Innovations of the West should not be used in Orthodox services.
It took some time for me to get used to choirs in the Russian Church and with women. I started in the Greek Church and heard the men cantors. Choirs are a Western influence, but it is not detrimental to the Holy Services.
I was very zealous too. It's only natural that we place importance on the way things are done, because we need to learn new ways which are Orthodox. And it's natural that we would want to see the strict Orthodox ways in others since we learnt alot of them from reading the saints. But, in time, God guides us to look inwardly. We shouldn't neglect the outward, but we should remember that we are sinners and nothing is done that is right by God. If we did, we'd all be glowing like the saints.
All converts are required to put away the old man and the religion they were involved in. So yes, all converts should reject what they followed and embrace the Eastern rites. That's why we are required to blow to the West, three times in the catechumen service. It's a sign of our rejection of what we used to be.
In Christ, Joanna