Ainnir wrote:Hello! I'm new here. I'm coming from a Methodist and Baptist Protestant background, have been researching Eastern Orthodoxy for three years, and have had about 6 months of Divine Liturgy services. I've been in a sort of limbo it feels like. I can't go back (well I could, but it would be unfulfilling to downright unpleasant). But at this point, I have no idea if I'm ready even for catechism as I'm wondering whether I came to Orthodoxy for the right reasons. I still have my hills and my checks and balances, so to speak.
And now I realize there are other forms of Orthodoxy. I didn't look into the Oriental Orthodox churches, and now I find the True Orthodox Church, which as far as I can tell does have some compelling points. But I'm still working on understanding the history behind all of this, which will take me a while.
Regardless of the fruits of that endeavor, there is only one Orthodox parish I would be able to go to and it's a GOARCH parish (this is where I'm attending now). Is that better than any other option (no church, Catholic church, Protestant church)?
I'm having a hard time in general with what may or may not be my conversion.
While I was in Roman Catholicism, I was in the same boat as you were, seeking a safe shore and a new Church, the True Church. I visited the ports of the Greek Orthodox Church under the Ecumenical Patriarch (EP) and discovered that they were seeking unity and having Vesperal Ecumenical services with Armenian, Indian, and Coptic Christians, Roman Catholics, Anglicans, Lutherans, Baptists, Evangelicals, and other Protestant denominations. When I visited those Orthodox parishes of the Antiochians, Serbians, and OCAers, I discovered the same thing. I honestly felt that I had found the True Church in the ROCOR, but in 2007, they joined the Moscow Patriarch (MP), who rules the Russian Orthodox Church. The Russian Orthodox Church is also into holding ecumenical Vesperal services, and also meeting with Jews, Muslims, and Buddhists as do the other World Orthodox.
For fifteen years, from 1995 to 2011, I drifted like wood among the various ports of World Orthodox and tried to justify my actions saying that all these World Orthodox Churches could not be that wrong, but I found that my spiritual life was not improving because Orthodox priests told me not to read the Philokalia and not to become holier than the EP or the Pope. Essays written by the EP and excerpts from books written by him bothered me. The EP is preaching the same "religion of love" as the Pope of Rome did in his latest January 6th professionally produced video. The latest January 2016 issue of The Word, published monthly by the Antiochians also preaches toleration and the "religion of love."
In addition, I was told to go to confession at least four times a year, when everyone else was offering their confessions, so that I only had about five minutes to mention my sins (just the major ones) and receive almost no admonitions or advice because of all the other people behind me. Pious yiayias told me that the priest was too busy to offer any advice during the week, and true to form, whenever I did have questions about my spiritual life, priests mentioned that they had catechumens to instruct, weddings to perform, people to console, funerals to serve, and that my attending Divine Liturgy and carefully listening to the sermons should supply my needs. So, I never did grow in Orthodoxy, but remained a teenager in my faith.
Ultimately, I found the True Orthodox Church, but the only parish near me is 7 to 8 hours away by car, or 2 hours away by plane. I visit them once a week or every two weeks by phone, and then once or twice a year by car. I also communicate with the priest and with some parishioners by email. Those avenues of communication really help. Plus, we have E Cafe. I am encouraged to read the Philokalia, the Homilies of St. Gregory Palamas, and other books, and to share my thoughts with my priest. I have grown in my faith, and have more peace. More importantly, my husband and I have grown closer together over the years.
Hope this helps.