Sues,
I'm really not sure what anyone said to make you have such thoughts? I'm genuinely perplexed by this? Personally, I consider monasticism, celibacy, singleness, and so forth to be a much greater path than marriage. If anything, most people would call me crazy (or a "convert zealot who doesn't understand") for my own beliefs. I hope that I have not said anything that made you want to leave or feel awkward?
"But they will perhaps ask, what then is the meaning of 'male and female,' and 'Be fruitful and multiply?' (Gen. 1:27-28 ) In answer we shall say that 'Be fruitful and multiply' does not altogether refer to the multiplying by the marriage connection... The precept of the law, therefore, is to be taken in a more spiritual sense. For there is spiritual seed which is conceived through the love and fear of God in the spiritual womb, travailing and bringing forth the spirit of salvation." - St. John of Damascus, Exact Exposition of the Orthodox Faith, 4, 24