The Gardening Thread

[Justin Kolodziej]

Coffee ? Terrible for the health, James R !

aw man, i really like coffee as well

[Barbara]

Well Justin, that post is for YOU, as well ! Think about it next time you get those dreadful coffee jitters.
Also don't forget how toxic the non-organic coffee really is. I don't honestly trust the label "organic" on sensitive
foods like coffee beans> I would suspect many of the coffees sold on the general market as organic are really NOT.
Or not enough. Hence please be careful, Justin !

Besides, we need a great new Reader to start Readers Services in North Carolina ! Don't let everyone down by jeopardizing your health ! You have a wonderful future ahead of you - !!

[Justin Kolodziej]

what about tea? (said he, hopefully)
And doesn't the "reader" actually have to be able to chant?

[Barbara]

Tea is FINE ! A thoroughly civilized drink. Can't you imagine the Tsar, or let's say, St Stephen of Hungary,
offering you a cup of tea in exquisite porcelain cups ?

Whereas, can you imagine them offering you --- coffee with a thick sea of grains at the bottom of the cup ? Ugh !! It's too bad this latter beverage became popular in "the New World" instead of refined older parts of the world where tea and lemon or tea and sweetening [not advised for
spiritual and health reasons, mind you !] were the standard 'social drinks'. People love to sit down and chat over
a cup of tea. Whereas something about coffee in the contemporary era makes one picture only some cheap coffee chain setting, where people restlessly gulp down their trendy drink, intent only on rushing out the door rather than considering to actually communicate with other humans.

[Maria]

Here is a heavenly joke about our efforts at gardening:

• You will think.... as you read it ..... Because as stupid as it may sound, this is exactly what we do!

  GOD to ST. FRANCIS :
  Frank , ... You know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.

  St. FRANCIS:
  It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

  GOD:
  Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

  ST. FRANCIS:
  Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

  GOD:
  The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
  ST. FRANCIS:
  Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.

  GOD:
  They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
  ST. FRANCIS:
  Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

  GOD:
  They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

  ST. FRANCIS:
  No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

  GOD:
  Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

  ST. FRANCIS:
  Yes, Sir.

  GOD:
  These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

  ST. FRANCIS:
  You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

  GOD:
  What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.

  ST. FRANCIS:
  You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

  GOD:
  No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

  ST. FRANCIS:
  After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

  GOD:
  And where do they get this mulch?

  ST. FRANCIS:
  They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

  GOD:
  Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

  ST. CATHERINE:
  'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....

  GOD:
  Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

[Barbara]

That is really, really clever ! It was done SO well. It's true how absolutely dumb the whole process is, when one thinks of it. I was told about that movie by someone, so I was able to get that joke. Isn't there a Part II out now ?

The whole thing got me chuckling. Nice to have some good, clean humor, too.

Plus, I forget to rake a lot of leaves every year, so now I feel better that they were providing blankets to the shrubs !
[Ironically, i just raked up this year's leftovers this very last couple of days. I wanted to give the ground a chance to breathe before the growing season starts up again. Heavy, soggy leaves get oppresssive, I figured, after they wear our their talents at blanketing the ground. Time now to have to pay to have them hauled away...]

[Maria]

That is really, really clever ! It was done SO well. It's true how absolutely dumb the whole process is, when one thinks of it. I was told about that movie by someone, so I was able to get that joke. Isn't there a Part II out now ?

The whole thing got me chuckling. Nice to have some good, clean humor, too.

Plus, I forget to rake a lot of leaves every year, so now I feel better that they were providing blankets to the shrubs !
[Ironically, i just raked up this year's leftovers this very last couple of days. I wanted to give the ground a chance to breathe before the growing season starts up again. Heavy, soggy leaves get oppresssive, I figured, after they wear our their talents at blanketing the ground. Time now to have to pay to have them hauled away...]

We rake our leaves regularly throughout the year and place them in our compost pile. Then the next year, we have lovely rich compost to place around our potatoes and tomatoes, etc.